Yes. You can fall back in love with your spouse. What most couples experience as falling out of love is the depletion of the relationship bank account, and that account can be rebuilt.

Love does not switch off like a light. It gradually dims when the deposits stop and the withdrawals accumulate. The warmth, the attention, the genuine curiosity about each other, these thin out under the weight of routine, stress, unspoken resentments, and the thousand small ways people stop choosing each other. The result is not the absence of love. It is love under the weight of everything that has accumulated on top of it.

When the account starts to fill again, the weight lifts. This is not a romantic notion. It is what Christine and I have witnessed across 20 years and more than 5,000 couples.

The couples who fall back in love are not the ones who experience a sudden rekindling. They are the ones who start making deposits. Appreciation. Warmth. Genuine interest. Small acts of care given without expectation of return. And they keep making them past the first awkward attempts, because the first few deposits into a depleted account do not feel like they land. That is normal. Keep going.

The second thing: Be the Change. Take 100 per cent responsibility for who you are being in the marriage, not for everything that went wrong, but for who you show up as from today forward. When you stop waiting for your partner to go first and simply become the partner you want them to be, the dynamic shifts. Warmth invites warmth. Openness invites openness.

Around 85 to 90 per cent of couples who do this work see the dynamic start to shift within the first week. The love was not gone. It was buried.

If you feel like the love has gone out of your marriage, book a free 15-minute call. Tell us where things are.

Is falling out of love permanent? In most cases, no. Falling out of love is usually the result of a depleted relationship bank account, not the permanent loss of the relationship. The account can be rebuilt.

How do you rebuild love in a marriage? Through consistent deposits: warmth, genuine attention, appreciation, small acts of care. And through a shift in who you are being, above the line, present and curious rather than defended and distant.

Can one person fall back in love if the other has checked out? One person starting to make deposits and shifting their being state often changes the dynamic even when the other person is not consciously trying. The signal changes and the response changes.

How long does it take to fall back in love? Most couples feel something shift within days to weeks of doing the work. The full restoration of love as a settled experience takes longer. The direction changes much sooner than people expect.